So having mentioned a couple of times that I am writing stories, I thought I'd post a little bit of the one I have been working on lately. I began writing it in 1999, in high school and when I look at previous drafts I can really see where I have improved my writing style. Please bear in mind that this is still very much a work in process.
Background - A year before this scene, the main character was attacked and almost killed by her abusive, drug-dealer boyfriend. After the attack and his subsequent arrest, he was sentenced to a term in prison but has been recently released. Kayla moved away and changed her name, hoping that he would forget about her but inwardly she knows that he will follow her to the end of the earth for revenge.
Sinister Reasons
The black van waitedthree streets away from the apartment block, shaded by the leaves of an old oaktree. The driver was the only occupant visible through the tinted glass: he satwatching through binoculars as Kayla stepped out of her apartment building andinto the late spring sunshine. “Here she comes,” the driver reported to hiscompanions. “She’s right on time.” He did not have to checkthe file on the dashboard to recognise Kayla Martin: months of reconnaissancemeant he recognised her even amongst a large crowd. “Subject leaving home base now,” the driver reported over the radio.When she turned left, he smiled. “She’sheading north at a nice, leisurely walk. Commencing stage two of surveillance.”He started the van and let it idle. “Teamtwo, base team, this is team one: are you both in place?” “This is team two, affirmative,” a female voice answered. “This is base team. We copy that, Drew. Let us know when she’sapproaching the corner of Everson and Ninth. We’ll take her there.” * * * Distracted by thoughts ofthe novel she had just finished reading for one of her classes, Kayla walkedhalfway to the subway station before she noticed the black van behind her,crawling at a pace that seemed far too slow. She gave it a passing glance,wondering if the driver was lost. Maybehe’s looking for a house along here… I know some of these places don’t havetheir numbers displayed very well. Another glance a blocklater revealed that the van had crept a little closer. Kayla increased herspeed. She had been sensibly cautious since her release from hospital but sinceJason’s release her survival senses had gone into overdrive. Every noise sheheard at night was Jason breaking in. During the day he was behind every door,every tree, and every shop counter with a knife in his hand, waiting to jumpout and finish what he started. She jumped every time her phone rang andchecked three to four times a night to make sure that her door was locked,fully aware that if Jason found her she wouldn’t live to see another sunrise.Some days she waited by the window for hours before she went anywhere, watchingto make sure he really wasn’t out there waiting for her. “Don’t be foolish,” shescolded herself softly. “Just because Jason is free now doesn’t mean he knowswhere I am. And even if he did, there’s no reason to think he’s in that van.” Despitethe sense of her argument she couldn’t stop herself from turning around again. The van had come closeenough for her to get a good look at it. It was dirty and in desperate need ofa wash and the license plates were partially obscured by mud. The driver was maleand wore a baseball cap and sunglasses, making it difficult for Kayla to seewhether she knew his face. Kayla’s unease strengthened. What if it is Jason? He swore in court he’d kill me assoon as he got the chance. He meant it, I know he did; what if he’s waiting forme now? She had been on her wayto the library but now she wasn’t so sure if continuing on her way was such agreat idea after all. Maybe I should keep going. I’ll be at the station soon andif he’s really following me he’ll show himself there. If it turns out just tobe a coincidence, well… I won’t have run home like a scared child for nothing. She stopped at the cornerof the next side street and turned back to check on the van. It had stoppedseveral houses back and the driver was holding up a map. He must be lost after all. She smiled at her foolishness. And here I was worrying about nothing. “Watch out!” Kayla spun in the direction of the voice, just as she became aware ofthe sound of pounding feet on pavement. She saw a rush of colour moving inher direction before something slammed into her and knocked her to the ground. She automatically rolled as shelanded – courtesy of months of self-defence training – but the impact windedher, leaving her to lie where she had fallen. As sheattempted to gasp air back into her aching lungs, Kayla felt a pair of hands slideunder her underarms, helping her to sit up. As soon as she was able to breathe,she looked up, blinking in the bright sunlight. There were two men standingabove her dressed in tracksuits, their faces gleaming with a light sheen ofperspiration. Joggers. I must haveinterrupted their run. Oops. The one closest to herhad brown hair and dark-brown eyes that watched her with quiet concentration;the other man was slightly taller than his companion, with blond hair and vividgreen eyes that fixed on her face when she met his gaze. The hair prickled onthe back of her neck as Kayla realised that the two men looked familiar, thoughshe was not entirely sure where she had seen them before. I have to stop being so paranoid. So I’ve seen them before… I probably passed them some other day. Shebrushed the feeling aside and studied their faces for a moment more. Still, I guess it can’t hurt to be a littlecautious, given the circumstances. “Hey, are you okay?” Theblond-haired man asked, concerned. “That was a pretty bad fall. We should probablytake you to the hospital to get checked out.” “Hospital? No, I’m fine,”Kayla assured him. “I just winded myself, that’s all. I’ll probably be a littlebruised tomorrow too, but I don’t think there’s anything broken.” The brown-haired manextended a hand to help her stand. “I’m very sorry for knocking you over,” heapologised as she climbed to her feet. “I should have been looking–” “I should have beenlooking where I was going, too,” Kayla told him as she extracted her hand fromhis grasp. She smiled at him. “Look, I’m fine, really.” “I’m sure you are.” Hisvoice sounded faintly amused to Kayla’s ear. “So what’s your name, mysterygirl? And how come I haven’t seen you around here before now?” “I’m kind of new to thearea,” she said. “I mean, well, I’ve only been here a few months and–” “So are you single ortaken?” he asked. “Please don’t tell me you’re already seeing someone: it’druin my day.” The sound of a vehicleapproaching distracted her. Kayla turned toward the street as the black van camearound the corner and cruised to a halt in front of her, the side door slidingsmoothly open to reveal two men seated in the rear. One was working on a laptopcomputer, a pair of headphones over his ears, the other was cradling a gun. Shetook a few steps back from the road, pressing a hand to her mouth. This doesn’t happen in real life. She glanced at the twomen standing beside her, a sick feeling growing in the pit of her stomach whenshe realised that neither of the ‘joggers’ seemed troubled by the suddenappearance of the van or the threat the vans occupants posed. “It’s all clear,” the manwith the headphones called. “The closest witness is the elderly woman threehouses down but she’s in the shower. Everyone else went to work as usual.” Kayla edged back from thevan but the blonde man saw her moving and intercepted her, a smile creepingover his face. “You’re not going anywhere, Miss Martin.” “I’m sorry, you must bemistaken,” Kayla countered as alarm spread through her. Jason. They have to be connected to Jason. But how do they know where to find me? Thepeople in the apartments and houses nearby had come to know her as ‘LauraFitzgerald’. She had confided her past to nobody, least of all these two strangers.“I don’t know anyone named Martin. My name is Laura Fitzge–” “We know who you are, MsMartin.” The brown-haired man said. “We’re sorry to approach you this way, butwe need to speak with you about your relationship with Jason Peterson. Wouldyou come with us, please?” Kayla stared at them. This doesn’t happen in real life. It’s anightmare, that’s all. It has to be. “Ms. Martin?” the manrepeated. “Please, we really don’t have that much time.” “Who are you?” “That’s not importantright now,” he said. “Kayla, you need to trust us.” “Trust you?” She studiedhim. “What kind of idiot do you think I am?” She knew she should run beforethey bundled her into the van but she wouldn’t get more than a few metres downthe street before one of them grabbed her. MaybeI can bluff my way out of this. “Look, I’m not stupid enough to get into avan with you. For all I know you could be kidnappers.” “You don’t have achoice,” the blond one said flatly. “Our orders are to fetch you and if thatmeans taking you by force, well so be it.” “I’m not going anywherewith you!” The two men exchanged aglance. “If that’s the way youwant it,” the brown-haired man said. “I’m sorry to have to do this, Kayla.” He had barely finishedspeaking before he and the blond man grabbed hold of her arms and began to dragher the short distance to the van. She opened her mouth to scream but the blondman covered her mouth with a hand. “Don’t try to fight,” hewarned. “You’ll regret it later.” This is ridiculous. You can’t just abduct someone off thestreet without someone seeing! She dug her feet into the ground and tried desperately tothink of a way to break their hold but the self-defence classes she had takenhad only ever focused on fighting against oneattacker. They were three steps from the van’s door and without a fight, shewould have no chance; once she was in the van the two men with the guns could holdher while the door was slammed shut, locking any hope for freedom outside. No! I won’t let them take me! She took all her strengthand all of her rage about being attacked and lashed out at the blond man,kicking him as hard as she could in the shin. He cursed and his grip slackenedslightly, which she took full advantage of by twisting her arm and breaking hisgrip. The brown-haired one yanked her toward him, wrapping his arms around herfrom behind but she knew how to break this hold and ruthlessly did so. She turnedand twisted, throwing him to the ground. By some element of luck, he slammedinto the blond man, knocking him over too. Before either of them could get totheir feet and take hold of her, she bolted back the way she had come. She gavethe occupants of the van one startled glance as she passed, praying theywouldn’t give chase. “Do you want us to followher?” a man in the van asked. The brown-haired manswore as he climbed to his feet, his eyes on the distant figure of theirtarget. “No, leave her be. She’s scared and frightened but she’s not stupid;she’ll know it’s time to go underground and call for help.” His brown eyesglittered. “Call Brooke and tell her we’re going to need the ambulance at sitetwo. We’ll intercept Kayla there.”
Feedback is very welcome. Please feel free to leave a comment or email me!
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